Change of Fate
by Alsper
Summary: Terrible events made them separate as children. Opinions were formed and bitterness created. Will Jasper and Alice take the reins and try to find the love they once shared? Fandom Gives Back Outtake from The Reborn. A/H A/U For The Reborn


**Disclaimer: We don't own anything that is Twilight related that earns an income. We just own ****the original plot for The Reborn, and Angels04 owns this little bit of the Alternate Universe cause she donated to charity ;)**

Robs: WOW! So betcha a lot of you missed the reborn huh? Well, this one should knock your socks off! :D

Also; I know a lot of you are worried about me... I am doing okay, still living with my mom, but things are getting better :) I love you all.

K: So this is the last of the Fandom Gives back auction pieces. As said in the disclaimer, Angels04 won this baby. Hope you like the different version of Jay and Mar ;)

Special thanks to Ashley (I can never remember your damn screen name) for beta'ing this for us! :)

* * *

I stood in the cover of the willow tree, watching as the familiar redheaded woman cried and shouted at how unfair it was to have lost her husband.

_As if she had room to declare what was fair or not,_ I thought bitterly.

There were more people here than I would have expected. James was not a well-loved man. At least not to the people that truly knew the kind of monster he was.

My eyes flitted about the small gathering, trying to decipher who was who. Most looked familiar, considering the last that I saw this family was when I eleven - no, strike that - sixteen.

I smiled slightly at the memory. Ma would call it my 'devil child' smile - the smile I only got when I was thinking of something truly evil and despicable, which was definitely what had happened the last time I saw James.

Only a handful of people knew the truth about the little family Victoria Brandon and her second husband James had. Victoria, the redhead that is currently grieving, was married once before. That marriage, in my opinion, created an angel by the name of Mary Alice.

Even at the young age we were at I was in love with her. She was my everything. This was not the puppy love the psychiatrist my mother made me see called it, but bonfied soul-mates. She was half of my soul, the better half of me.

But thanks to James and Victoria's constant abuse, I lost the one girl I would ever think of marrying and having a family with. I actually thought they had succeeded in killing her, until I finally listened to what Ma and The Admiral were telling me.

I don't regret doing what I did to the bastard who's about to become worm food. Not one bit. It made me the man I am today. Forced me to grow up and stop being a child.

_And a man always protects the ones he loves, even if they will never know he did it_.

At the age of sixteen, I was charged with aggravated assault because I damn near killed James with a metal baseball bat. I should have gone to prison or some shit for it, but the judge took pity on me - that, or she had a thing for men in uniform, because she agreed to make it a misdemeanor if I was enrolled into a military academy. I needed to learn discipline, respect, and basically be somewhere where my parents couldn't coddle me.

I had to get the discipline and respect thing beaten into me a few times before it sunk in. Looking back now, I'm surprised they kept my ass there, considering I broke every rule they had. But at least I wasn't alone in rule breaking. Thanks to the academy, I met my best friend of the last ten years: Emmett Cullen.

Emmett was the stocky fifteen year old that smiled more than anyone on the damn campus. It was like he knew a secret that no one else was going to get to know. But that didn't keep him from standing his ground either. Fucker has helped my ass out when I got cornered one too many times.

But there was something else that drew me to him as a friend. His eyes and smile were much like hers - my Mary's - and it often made me wonder if Emmett was a relative of hers. Although, to this day, he doesn't know that's the reason why I stare off at times.

The sound of shouting brought me back to the graveyard. I looked over in the direction to see Victoria trying to talk to a female who was obviously not having any of it. I felt my eyebrow cock up in wonder. Why come to a funeral if you're not friend or family?

_Maybe she's foe?_ I answered myself only to shake my head. If she was foe, then that would mean she was Mary. And last I heard Mary was as far away from James as possible.

"Fuck off!" The girl shouted, shoving Victoria before running off into the direction of a cab that was idling nearby.

"Definitely foe," I mused out loud to myself.

"What is?" Emmett asked.

I laughed and shook my head; he was too good at being silent sometimes. "The little chick that was just here," I explained before pointing in Victoria's direction. "That's the wife of the dead guy. Whoever the chick was that was just talking to her, is definitely a foe because of the way she reacted when Victoria tried to talk to her."

"Maybe it was the other woman..." Emmett mused with a smirk.

I shook my head again. "She's too old." Even I could hear the venom in my voice.

Emmett looked confused. "Do you mean he was, like, a child molester?"

I clenched my jaw and nodded. "Mary..." That's all I had to say. He knew all about Mary. I pulled my hat off to tug at my hair. "I need to get the fuck out of here," I told my friend, looking right at him.

"I used to live around here..." Emmett said, glancing around as he gripped my shoulder in one of his large hands. "There's a diner off of Highway Ninety."

"Sounds good," I said, nodding and placing my hat back on. "Maybe I can get us a discount since girls love a man in uniform," I joked.

"Oh, so you can get the discount, huh? I thought I was in uniform, too."

I laughed at that. "Yeah, but I look better in it," I said while dodging his shove.

"Whatever, dude," Emmett shot back with a furtive smile.

I took one look over my shoulder, saying goodbye to my past. Thank God that chapter was over.

Emmett drove us to the diner he spoke of. Conveniently located off the highway and obviously a hot spot for the truckers, Emmett swore this was the best place to get down home southern food at greasy spoon prices.

I laughed and held the door open as he made his way through. "As long as they got strong coffee, I don't give a damn."

"Trust me, bro, they'll be scraping your skinny ass off the ceiling."

I scoffed. "Hey, my skinny ass can take you down now, fucker." We sat down at a booth and were greeted by the petite waitress a few tables down.

"Gimme a minute to clear these here tables and I'll get y'all's orders," she drawled.

"No rush, sweetheart," I told her as I put my hat down and looked at Emmett. "Let me guess, you already know what you want."

"Please," he scoffed as he picked up a menu that lay behind the napkin holder and glanced at it for a moment. "Now I do."

I followed suit, looking over the menu and decided on something light. I had no idea when I'd be able to get back to base and work off half of the shit on this menu.

The petite waitress walked over and when she said, "Well, gentlemen... can I get y'all somethin' to drink? Gail makes amazing sweet tea..." I realized she sounded very familiar to me.

"Tea sounds nice ma'am." I gave her a small smile, trying to place her voice. She looked up at me and her smile faltered a little for a minute before she turned to Emmett.

"And you?"

"Coffee... might as well get two cups since my friend was so dazzled by your beauty that he forgot to order himself a cup."

_Fuck!_ I kicked Emmett under the table. "Yes, sorry - coffee, please," I asked her, seeing the faint pink of her cheeks as she wrote it down.

"I'll be right back with those..." she murmured in a soft voice and I was able to catch her name from her nametag. _Alice_.

"Thanks, Alice." I smiled at her again, curious as to why she kept avoiding my face.

"Damn, you were right... you got that lady's panties in a twist," Emmett commented once she was safely out of earshot.

I laughed and shook my head. "Never had that reaction before; it was like she saw a ghost or some shit," I said with a shrug. "Speaking of panties in a twist, how's Rose?"

"Good, still pregnant." He nodded with that cocky smirk of his that he always got when he talked about the fact his wife, Rosalie, was knocked up.

"Damn, no wonder you jumped at the chance to come out here with me. When's she due?"

"Another month. The baby's room is all done."

"That's good. One less thing for y'all to worry about." I was genuinely happy for him and Rose and had no doubt that he'd be a great dad.

"I have your tea," a sweet voice broke into our conversation as Alice set the glass in front of me. "And two coffees," she said as she placed the cups down and then sat a pot on top of a coaster. "Y'all ready to order?" She seemed to be avoiding looking at me again.

"Chicken fried steak," Emmett said with a carefree smile.

"Y'all don't have s'more brownies here do you?" I found myself asking before I realized it.

Her eyes, the darkest blue I had ever seen, darted over to me. "N-no, sir," she half-whispered.

"Uh... BLT with fries please..." Why the hell was I thinking of Mary's favorite dessert now? "Sorry about the brownie thing, Alice," I apologized and Emmett's questioning look didn't escape my notice.

"No problem." She seemed to regain herself. "What kind of bread would you like that on?" That was when I noticed the scar that ran the length of the side of her face, from her temple to her jaw. It wasn't so bad; in fact, it was barely noticeable. _Maybe that is why she was getting so flustered_.

"Sourdough, and can I get-"

"Extra bacon," she finished for me, looking down at her notepad again.

_How did she?_ "Yeah..." To say I was confused was an understatement.

"Are you stalking me?" she asked, her voice having a slight bite to it.

"Excuse me?"

"You were at James' funeral. Now you're at my work...Why?" she asked, her beautiful face finally faced towards me.

"James? Wait, you're the chick that screamed at Victoria." I pointed at her. "I was there 'cause I know them. What the hell were you doing there?" Didn't she know what kind of people they were?

"Victoria is my mother, Jasper, and you left all of this and me behind so why come back now?"

"Jesus Christ... Mary?" I felt like the wind was knocked out of me. "Wait? You think I left you behind?" I narrowed my eyes at her.

"I don't have time for this," she snapped, turning her back and storming towards the kitchen.

"What - you know her?" Emmett managed to get out finally.

I tossed my napkin on the table and slid out of the booth. "That's Mar," I muttered as I moved to go after her. I walked briskly to the kitchen doors, the waitress behind the bar watching and talking hurriedly to the man in front of her.

"Damn it, Mary, what the hell?" I asked when I pushed the door of the kitchen open to see her leaning against a wall of lockers.

She looked up at me with a start. "You're not supposed to be back here!" she yelled.

"What is going on here?" A rather large, sweet-looking lady asked, her nametag read 'Siobhan'.

"I'm not letting you leave so you can accuse me of leaving you behind again."

Siobhan raised an eyebrow at Mary and she shook her head. "Jasper, I'm workin'. I see you're a military man now, so I would assume you would understand that... please..."

Siobhan interrupted her. "She gets off work in a little over an hour. She wasn't even supposed to come in today. Look, I am very sorry, sir, but we cannot have customers back here." She moved her hand to indicate that I needed to back through the doors.

"Of course. I'm sorry, ma'am," I apologized to Siobhan before looking at Mary. "Are you gonna come see me after work then?"

She sighed heavily. "Sure, might as well," she agreed, sounding defeated.

"Don't inconvenience yourself on my account," I muttered as I left the kitchen.

When I reached the booth Emmett just raised his eyebrow at me. "What?" I asked.

"Dude, I can't believe you just stormed in there like you owned the place."

"Yeah... I wasn't thinking." I shrugged and looked out the window. I never thought if and when I saw Mary again she'd still be holding so much anger at me like she did. _Did she blame me for what happened back then_? I didn't get it.

"BLT with extra bacon?" A kind voice I recognized as belonging to Siobhan sang.

"Thank you, ma'am." I gave her a small smile as she set the plate down in front of me.

"Don't you worry about Alice, she's had a rough time... I didn't know she was dating anyone." Siobhan had that hopeful glint in her eye like when my momma would get when she asked if I had a girl yet.

"Oh, uh... she's not my girlfriend, ma'am..."

She sighed and gave me a small smile. "Well, y'all certainly seemed to know each other. I just hoped it was in a romantic sort of way."

Did that mean Mary wasn't seeing anyone? _Not like I have a chance now_. "No, ma'am, not since we were kids."

She pursed her lips and it made a funny sort of smile. "Well, good luck on your talk with her." She patted my shoulder before turning to leave.

I gave her a tight smile as I picked at my lunch. "Well, what an interesting day this turned out to be..."

"Wha- you mean?" Emmett said with his mouth full.

I couldn't help but chuckle at him before speaking. "Just that I came back thinking there was no way in hell Mary would be near that funeral, yet she's still here and apparently hates me."

"I dun think she 'ates you, brah," Emmett said as he shoved another spoonful of obviously homemade mashed potatoes into his mouth.

"She thinks I left her behind and forgot about her," I countered.

Emmett shook his head as he swallowed. "She's really attracted to you, too... so I mean... she can't hate you," he trailed off and shrugged.

I slouched down in the seat and twirled a fry with my fingers. "Yeah, I don't know, man. I've only seen her that angry once and it wasn't at me."

"Well... from what 'cha told me, she's gone through a lot..." Emmett shrugged. "Maybe she's mad at everyone."

"I suppose." I sighed and figured over-thinking it wasn't going to make it any better. So I started on my lunch, periodically looking up when the kitchen doors would open, in hopes of seeing her again. But I didn't. It was as if she was hiding from me.

But why? I never did anything to her to hurt her, did I? I tried to think back to the past, to all the times I spent with Mary. From the first day we met, I did nothing but try to make her smile, get her to laugh, basically show her that there were people who cared, who loved her.

I still loved her. After all these years, she'd always be the one in my heart that knew the true me. The lanky, awkward boy who felt he was never good enough to his dad. The boy who dreamed of flying into the stars and rescuing her from her hell of a life.

"We tried to run away together - did I ever tell you about that?" I asked Emmett.

Emmett shook his head, his mouth too full to stuff any more food into.

I nodded. "We had this old Folgers coffee can that I would shove my allowance into. We saved quite a bit. Told her we were gonna get our own place and I'd make a living mowing lawns and shit," I laughed as I explained it to him. "God, I was dumb kid."

Emmett smiled. "Naw, you were just love-struck...You still into her?" he asked point blank. That was the good thing about Em - he didn't beat around the bush.

"No, I went storming after her cause I like to watch her ass in that skirt she's wearing," I shot back, then thought better of it. "Yeah, no, that's true… But yeah, I'm still into her. I don't think I ever stopped liking her."

Emmett laughed. "I bet you like her ass in that skirt. It's been how long since you've had a date?"

"Since before I was shipped. So, what... four years?" I asked him.

"So how about you turn on your suave, romantic, sweet side that all the girls fall over themselves for and try to talk to her. You never know, things might work out better than you expected." Emmett winked at me.

I shook my head and smiled slightly. "I'll try, but Lord knows if she'll buy it. Remember this is the same chick who drooled over my dad when we were kids. She knew me before I had game."

"Well, brah, you look like your dad, so own it."

I couldn't help but scowl at that. I hated being compared to the Admiral. That's why I went into the Marines - to be my own person.

"I know you don't like being compared to him, but, dude, _you do_. Just fucking accept it."

"Yeah, yeah. Got any other pointers for me?" I joked.

"Yeah..." He reached down and grabbed his wallet, flipping through it for a second before tossing me a black wrapped condom. "I'm just going to video conference my wife at the hotel... this should cover lunch." He laid down forty and strode out of the diner with a 'good luck' and a wink.

I didn't even want to know why he had a damn condom when his wife was back home. _Fuck!_ He left in the only car we had. _I'm gonna kill him if I survive this,_ I thought as I quickly put the condom away. I sighed and glanced at the clock.

It had been an hour, and when I glanced at the kitchen again I noticed Mary standing there, seemingly trying to concentrate on something. I grabbed the cash off the table and went to the cashier to pay. Once I was given the change, I carefully approached Mary.

"Can we talk now?" I asked, looking down at the insignia on my hat.

"Sure," she breathed. "Um, where do you want to go?"

I shrugged and looked up at her. "My buddy kinda left me stranded... so your call I guess."

She chewed her lip nervously and it gave me time to study her. The long, raven hair I remember waking up to was gone, now cut in a short choppy style just a few inches below her chin. She looked tired and the way her eyes darted around the room, made me believe she was either looking for an out or making sure she was safe.

She'd filled out over the years, which - considering puberty and all - wasn't a surprise. Neither was her attire. The standard uniform was fitted differently on her than it was on Siobhan. Hemmed shorter with the top three buttons undone, it gave a view of her black lace bra when she bent down. Some would consider this inappropriate, but being the son of a psychiatrist, I knew this was common for victims of the shit Mary went through.

"We could go to my car?" she offered.

I nodded and stepped to the side to let her lead. "Ladies first."

When she walked I could definitely feel the effects of not getting laid for the past four years, especially with the way her hips swayed as she walked. She lead me to her car, a nineteen ninety four Ford Falcon, before she climbed into the driver seat. I climbed into the passenger side and looked up to see her looking right at me.

"What?" I asked.

"You look like the Admiral," she said simply. "Yeah, I get that a lot. Only he doesn't wear the Navy Blues anymore and his hair's longer," I explained to her before reaching into my back pocket to pull out my wallet. I pulled out a picture of my parents from the past Christmas. While I was working overseas in Afghanistan, Ma and The Admiral were enjoying Christmas in Hawaii. I handed the picture over to her. "Ma wanted sun for Christmas," I explained.

She smiled a little as she looked at them, the pain evident on her face. "They look happy."

"I think that's the tiki mai tai's or whatever Ma was drinking," I joked. "Ma is usually a wreck around the holidays..."

"Why?" she asked, handing me the picture back.

"Cause she missed you... we all did," I told her as I tucked the picture back.

"If y'all missed me so much why did you leave me here to rot?" she asked, the bitterness back in her voice.

"For starters? Because the wonderful shit heads at the Biloxi CPS told Ma she couldn't do anything to help. Then Dad got transferred and I was put into Military School. Ma tried everything she could, Mar..."

"I grew up in foster care - mostly girls homes, if you cared to know." Her voice was quiet. She had lost that note of bitterness, but there was still a sadness to it.

"I'm sorry, Mar..." I apologized and fiddled with my hat to keep from touching her. "I never wanted to leave you, please believe that. I would have done anything to take you with us."

She nodded her eyes not leaving the steering wheel. "Did you ever think about me?"

"Yeah," I laughed a little. "Poor Em, you're all he heard about. If it weren't for Ma's pictures, I'm pretty sure he thought I was making you up."

She looked over at me then. "You talk about me to your girl, too?"

"What girl?" I asked her. "I've come to learn that while, yes, y'all like a man in uniform, you don't like the man that's hung up on a girl and going overseas." _Wow, word vomit much, shit head?_

She scoffed. "Yeah, well, y'all get all turned off by a girl with daddy issues, too, so I guess we're even, eh?"

"Yeah, I guess..." This conversation wasn't going well at all.

She studied me for a moment. "You barely ate your food at lunch."

"I had a lot on my mind," I told her, giving her a small smile.

"I make a great pie if you wanna come over to my place..." Her eyes seemed to be saying things, but I couldn't really tell what.

"I would like that - only if it's not an imposition..."

"I've missed you..."

I leaned my head back against the head rest and looked at her. "I missed you, too. I honestly didn't think I was ever gonna see you again," I admitted the last part softly.

She reached out and ran her finger along my cheekbone. "I knew I'd see you again."

I smiled at the feel of her touch, so familiar yet so foreign at the same time. "You did?" I asked, taking her hand in mine and kissing her palm.

"Yeah, I just never thought you'd show up to the funeral," she whispered, staring at my lips.

I chuckled. "Look who's talking! I just had to see for myself," I told her before licking my bottom lip.

"I wanted to dance on his grave. I guess I came a little too early." She smiled at me.

I leaned closer to her and smiled. "If you want we can both go later and do a little dance

together."

"I'd rather we did something else together..." she trailed off suggestively, licking her bottom lip.

I slowly cupped her face with my hand before smiling at her. "I didn't say if it was gonna be a horizontal or vertical dance, did I?" I teased.

She bit her bottom lip playfully. "I wouldn't wanna do that on his grave - give the fucker some sort of satisfaction."

"Yeah, we can't give him that," I said softly as I watcher her eyes flutter shut at my close proximity. Was this really happening? It's hard to believe that I was sitting here, in Mary's car about to kiss her after all this time. I knew I still loved her, but did she still feel the same? _Just do it!_ I could hear Emmett yelling at me in my thoughts, as I gazed upon Mary's angelic face, waiting, offering her lips to me. I took the hint and pressed my lips to hers. I parted my lips and our tongues met for the first time in... well, about twelve years. My heart began beating hard against my ribcage as my hand slipped up to cup her chin, then slid to support her neck. Her fingers dug into the skin of my thigh through my trousers.

When she pulled away, I expected her to say something and was preparing some sort of answer, but she said nothing. Instead she turned the key in the ignition and began driving. We rode in a rather sexually charged and uncomfortable silence, leaving me to wonder where she was leading me until we pulled up to a tall and old brick building.

"I live on the fifth floor." She smiled at me and grabbed her purse before leading the way.

I thought we'd go up the elevator, but instead she lead me to an iron staircase. I didn't regret not being able to push her against the side of the elevator - okay, well maybe a little - when I saw that I could see up her skirt from my vantage point. No surprise that her panties matched the black lace bra I kept getting glances of earlier.

She led me into a small apartment, where the first room you entered had a large, orange sofa, dark wood furniture and a set of framed prints from Paris. She instructed me to sit and wait on the couch and told me that I could watch TV while she changed out of her work clothes.

As instructed, I sat down and flicked on the TV, figuring I would watch the news when a movement in the next room caught my eye. I leaned over and noticed that Mary was unzipping her uniform, carefully letting it fall off her shoulders and exposing inch after torturous inch of skin and black lace undergarments.

_God damn, little Mary has definitely grown up..._

I took my hat off and gingerly sat it on the coffee table before leaning onto my elbow so I could better watch her change. The dress puddled at her feet and she bent over to pick it up, carefully placing it into the hamper before she even began removing her sneakers. I swallowed hard as I watched her shoulder blades flex as she moved to remove her bra, making me fight every impulse to go in and assist her. I reluctantly turned my head away when I realized she was bending over to remove her panties - only because my momma had raised me better than that, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to see.

When she returned to the living room, I noticed that she seemed to move a little under the tank that she wore and wondered if she was wearing anything under the shirt and shorts that she put on - or better yet, if I'd find out first hand what she had on underneath.

She sat next to me and began giggling once she looked at me.

"What?" I asked, hoping that I didn't have anything stuck between my teeth.

"Someone is excited," she answered, gently running her fingertips along the bulge in my pants.

"Can't help it, being this close to such a beautiful woman," I answered. _Shit, that was lame._

She smirked at me. "I know you were watching."

I looked down at her hand, trying to hide the guilty look I'm sure I had. "I'm sorry," I lied. I was far from being sorry. Hell, I'd watch it again if she'd let me.

"I wanted you to watch," she admitted, brushing her hand along my length a little more firmly.

I bit back a moan as I looked up at her and smirked slightly. "Oh really?"

She nodded, moving so she could straddle me. "I wanted you to want me..."

"That's one of the things that never changed about me, Mar," I told her. I'd wanted her since I was eight.

"You look good," she breathed.

I cupped her face with my hand. My eyes dancing between her dark ones and her lips. "You look better," I said in a voice barely above a whisper.

"You could make me feel better..." She leaned in to kiss me.

**0o0o0o0o0**

The next thing I knew we were in her bed, she was naked under me and I was happily licking, kissing and nibbling along her neck in between periods of kissing her mouth. Our hips rolled slowly together and I was doing everything in my power to hold off the release that was building up rapidly in my nuts. Four years had been an awful long time for me, but this... I had dreamt about this moment for as long as I could remember and I wanted it to last.

That was until she started begging for it harder, so harder I went, pulling out and shoving myself all the way back in, feeling proud when she would whimper and make noises of pleasure.

Eventually, my body won out over my head and my entire mind went blank as the endorphins rushed through my body. After taking care of the condom, I wrapped my arms around my Mary and buried my face in her hair. She still smelled the same: peppermint and spring rain. I smiled into her hair, still in disbelief that we were together again, after all these years.

_But what happens tomorrow when I leave?_ I wondered, holding her closer to me, afraid that I might wake up to find that this had been a dream.

She must have sensed my unease. Her hand reached up and gently ran her fingers through my now tousled locks, comforting me in its familiarity.

"You weren't a virgin, were you?" she asked almost hesitantly.

"No, I just haven't been with a woman since before I left."

She let out a small breath. "You okay?"

I kissed her shoulder. "Yeah, you?"

She rolled onto her back and looked at me, running her hand down my torso and playing with the soft patch of hair I had just below my belly button. "I think I might need a cigarette."

I raised my eyebrow at her. "Who said I was done with ya?"

"You have any more condoms there, Marine?" she asked.

I laughed nervously and remembered the store we passed on the way here. "No, but I can rectify that situation."

"Well then if you think your little soldier there can handle it..." - she ran her finger down the length of my cock - "You should go get some more."

_Yes, definitely need more..._ I gave her a lingering kiss before moving to get up. "Want anything else while I'm out?" I asked as I pulled my boxer briefs back on.

"Maybe you should get some Gatorade - after all, that _was _a good workout." She winked slyly up at me.

I laughed and shook my head. "That was nothing."

She looked mildly impressed. "Well then, go get a big box and you can show me what you can do."

I nodded as I tucked in my shirt. "I'll be back before you know it," I told her, giving her another kiss.

I noticed the slight spring in my step as I walked out the door and smiled at the middle-aged woman that was sweeping off her doorstep before I walked down the stairs.

**0o0o0o0o0**

APOV:

It's amazing what can happen in the course of one day. I received news that James had died through the mail a few days ago. Half of me was happy, but the other part of me - the part of me that was so detached and lost - was empty. I once thought that his death would bring me peace, and that that part of me would somehow become whole, that somehow I could fully heal after he was gone, but it wasn't like that.

I mean, yes, I was happy that he was gone; the monster from my nightmares would no longer be there in real life. I had no idea why I decided to go to the bastard's funeral. Maybe I had to see for myself, but then my mother decided to act like she cared about me, trying to call me over to her so I could comfort her or some shit like that.

Fuck that.

While I was leaving, I spotted two gentlemen in uniform - _Jazz and The Admiral!_ Half of me - okay, more than half - wanted to run over and hug them both, but then the other half just wanted to get the fuck away. What were they doing here anyway? Not like they cared before.

I walked away. From them, from my mother, from my monster. It was time for work anyway.

I met Siobhan when I was in high school. I would go to her diner with my dick of the month and she seemed to have a soft spot for me. She took me under her wing, and the day that I turned eighteen and was no longer a ward of the state she offered me a job and helped me find a place to live.

She knew everything - I had told her everything: things about James, my mom... I had even told her about Jasper. She tried to help in whatever way she could, but sometimes there was just nothing she or anyone else could do that would help me.

The diner had become my refuge, my sanctuary in the storm. Even though Siobhan had given me time off, I still wanted to come in and work, even if it was just for a few hours. After all, tips were my livelihood and cigarettes were becoming more expensive.

I had just picked up a twenty dollar tip with a phone number written slyly on the napkin from a middle-aged man when _they_ walked in. At first I didn't recognize them. I had been wrong anyway - it wasn't the Admiral; it was just Jasper. Jasper and a friend with 'McCarty' on the nametag of his jacket.

At first I was defensive - who could blame me? They -Jasper and his family- left me here and I hadn't even gotten a single letter from them. I had planned on just pretending like I had no idea who he was and just go on with my day, but then the combination of his drop-dead gorgeous looks -the Admiral looked like trash compared to his son, honestly- and the fact that he kept saying things that made me think he was following me... well, I blew up.

I didn't know what I was expecting, but when I walked away, he followed me! Right into the back room like he owned the place. And Siobhan -God love her- forced my hand to talk to him. By the end of my shift I found enough nerve to talk to him like a sensible person, and thankfully he looked nervous enough that him demanding I talk to him didn't infuriate me.

We talked, and the entire time we talked I sat and studied the man my Jazzy had become. In his face he looked like his dad, but his hair was shorter than I remembered it being as a kid. His eyes were entirely his mother's: the shape, the color, everything. He was more slender than his dad had ever been, but I could tell that underneath that uniform he had wiry muscles under firm skin. His fingers were very distracting: they were long and kept fidgeting with his hat. I really wanted to see what he could do with those long fingers...

After our discussion one thing was sure: we still wanted each other. I took him home with the intentions of feeding him, since he had barely touched his lunch. Those were my intentions, I swear, but _damn_, the boy was packing... and I don't mean a gun. The sex was amazing: he was tender and was a big fan of kissing. It was everything I had always imagined sex with my Jazzy would be.

Afterwards, he scared me a little - never in ten years had a man become teary-eyed after having sex with me. The look on his face pulled at that place in my heart that I thought I had buried a long time ago. I wondered for a moment - albeit a brief one - if he had been a virgin, but he chased those suspicions away.

Once he left to get more condoms from the local Rite-Aid, I was able to get a smoke in and got the approval of Amber, the neighbor who lived across the way and usually gave me a thumbs up or a thumbs down on whatever guy had just walked in or out of my door. Jasper... well... he got the very rare two thumbs, and then she asked me if I was willing to share.

No, I wasn't, but I wasn't going to say that. Instead I just laughed. And that was when Jasper decided to reappear, plastic bag in hand.

He smiled at me before nodding his head at Amber. "Ma'am," he said with a slight drawl to Amber as he wrapped his arm around my waist.

"Hell-low," Amber responded, making it sound like an excited cat purr as I laughed at her. I looked up at Jasper. _Fuck,_ he got tall.

"So... what did you get?" I asked. The bag looked a little too full for a small box of condoms and a couple of bottles of Gatorade.

"The usual," he said, holding the bag open so I could look in. "Condoms... chocolate..."

"Did you buy a bunch of random stuff so that the cashier wouldn't know you were just there to buy condoms?" I asked, amused.

He scoffed and shook his head. "Nope - impulse buy. I fall for it every time."

"Well, I'll just let you two be - unless you're inviting me over..." Amber said in a hopeful voice. I shook my head and opened the door with my free hand.

"Thanks, Amber," I said as I pulled Jasper inside.

"Have a good day, ma'am," Jasper said respectfully.

I shut the door before turning and wrapping my arms around his neck. His eyes instantly lit up and I knew he was excited. "You're hot, you know that?"

He tossed the bag to the couch, his arm wrapping around me to hold me closer to him. "Am I now?" he asked.

I nodded. "Very hot. I think you surpassed your daddy."

"Does that mean I finally get your attention?" he teased.

"You mean fucking wasn't enough attention for you?"

He smirked at me and shook his head. "I think I need more convincing."

I bit my lip and slid down against him 'til I was on my knees and moved my hands to the buckle of his belt. "I can do that..." I trailed off and hoped like hell he got what I was insinuating before I unfastened his belt and the button of his slacks.

"I might need a lot of convincing though." His voice seemed to deepen slightly, obviously catching on to my meaning.

"What kind of convincing?" I asked, tilting my head as I slid his pants off his hips.

"You're a smart girl. I'm sure you'll figure it out." He moaned as I ran my lips along the bulge of his boxer briefs and I smiled. I moved and let the robe fall off my shoulders before pulling his Jockey's down and giggling when his little soldier came springing out. I ran my lips up and down his length again before leaning back and smiling at him.

His lips were slightly parted as he looked down at me. His eyebrow raised in question. "You dirty little tease."

"Well, I'm just not sure what kind of convincing you need," I said in a innocent voice before licking just the head of his cock.

"I think you should start with your lips on my cock. Then we can see how much more I need."

I felt a rush of heat hit my stomach and damn near gagged myself taking him into my mouth. I wanted to please him so badly like this, and hearing something so dirty come out of my childhood loves' mouth... Well, that shit was hot. I bobbed a few times before I felt his hands weave into my hair, slowly guiding me along his length.

I started really getting into it and slid my hand down to pleasure myself while I was pleasing him.

"Baby... wait," he groaned as he pulled my hair slightly.

"What?" I asked, pouting slightly. I had never been stopped in the middle of a BJ either.

"I still need to make up for my previous short comings..."

I raised an eyebrow at him. "And how do you plan on doing that?"

"By fucking you properly, of course." He looked at me as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"We haven't done that already?" I asked as I stood up.

He scoffed and picked me up. "Please, I was like a virgin on prom night. You deserve better."

I wrapped my legs around him and smiled, trying to rub my engorged crotch against him. "Get to it then." The next thing I knew, I was bent over the arm of the couch, moaning like crazy while he pounded into me and pulled my hair. Who knew my little Jazzy could be so... well, rough?

The night continued on pretty much just like that. Eventually the periods between fucking grew larger and we would talk, he'd watch me smoke, talk to me about what had been going on since he and his family left, ask me about growing up. Eventually I made him dinner: Shepard's pie with a nice apple hand pie for desert.

Afterwards he helped me clean and we somehow found the energy to have another romp between the sheets. When we were finished, I laid on my arms and watched him. He was striking, his profile was beautiful and I was quite fond of the little imperfection he had where his bottom lip jutted out a little more than the top one.

"When are you leaving?" I asked, finally broaching the subject both of us had seemed to be avoiding.

He sighed and looked at the ceiling. "Tomorrow..."

That made me sad. "You gonna come back and visit me?"

"Or," he started and turned his head to look at me. "You can come with me."

I laughed a little. "And leave all this?" I asked, waving my hand around my sparse apartment.

"You don't have to leave it. We'll take it with us."

"They'll really let some random chick live with you on base?"

"But you're not some random chick, Mar, and it's a perfect idea. After all, I did promise to give you your own house, didn't I?" He raised his eyebrow at me as the faintest of smiles danced on his lips. He was obviously feeling smug about something, but trying his best to hide it.

"Who am I to the military though, Jazz?" I argued, propping myself up on my elbow.

"To them, you'd be my fiancee..."

My eyebrows shot up to my hairline. "And to you?"

He shrugged. "What ever you want to be."

I leaned over on him and rested my forearm on his chest. "Are you proposing to me, Corporal Whitlock?"

"Would you say 'yes' if I was?"

My heart stopped for a moment. Was he really doin' this? Did he really think he could marry me after one day? Just because he knew me as a kid? I paused and thought about it: could I marry him? Would I?

"Maybe," I responded.

He looked at me for a moment before nodding. "You don't have to say 'yes' if you don't want to go. I'll come back this time, Mar."

I chewed my cheek for a moment and thought about it. Since he'd been here that hole in my chest seemed to be filling, and the mere thought of him leaving despite him saying he'd return made my stomach and heart ache. "I'd marry you."

"Really?" He looked just as stunned as he sounded.

"I don't want to be without you." _Not again_, I added in thought.

He wrapped his arms around me, pulling me close as he buried his face in my hair. "Never again," he breathed.

"So, why not?" I lightly traced a pattern on his chest.

I felt him press his lips to the top of my head. "Good point," he said. I pressed my face against his chest, and wrapped my leg around his, blissfully happy.

"So, you gonna tell your parents?" I asked after a moment of internal squealing.

"Nah, I figured I'd bring you home as an anniversary gift to them," he teased. "Of course I'll tell them - I just want you to get settled in first. Knowing Ma' she's gonna smother you when she finds out."

I smiled a little at the thought. "I have to tell Siobhan..."

He lightly ran his fingers along my back as he laid there, silently thinking to himself. "If you want a few days, I can call my commanding officer and let him know I need a some more time..."

I looked up at him and smiled. "Please? It would be a lot easier... For everything."

His eye met mine and he returned my smile. "Anything for you." I pushed myself up using his chest for support and placed a kiss on his lips. Was it possible to have never fallen out of love with your first love?

* * *

_**Interesting little take eh loves? So which version do you like better? This or the original Jay and Mar?**_


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